Linda Levin has been my life coach, strategic partner, counselor, friend and sage since 2003. She’s helped me sort through business decisions, client issues and opportunities, family and children challenges and relationship matters both in and out of the office. To say she’s been a great resource for me is an understatement.
She recently reminded me about a self-help tool I had let get a little rusty.
She asked me: What’s the most important conversation you’ll have each day
When she first asked me the question, I wasn’t sure where she was going with it. Before you read on, I encourage you to ask it of yourself. What’s your answer?
Linda says the most important conversation any of us can have each day is the conversation we have with ourselves. Yes, that one-on-one that is truly one-on-one!
You see, we all have several storylines going on in our minds. And these stories or conversations involve a wide range of emotions: positive, negative, true, imagined, love, hate, sadness, acceptance, rejection, etc.
The Power of Self-Talk
Some of these storylines are so negative that they become self-limiting beliefs for us. Maybe you had a bad childhood with challenging—if not downright terrible—relationships with parents or siblings. Maybe you had past negative work or professional experiences such as job losses, bad bosses, downsizing or just plain bad luck.
Note the word “had,” then know that it’s possible to quiet the negative self-talk these circumstances can cause. Decide to change the things you can change and leave behind that you can’t change. Then turn negative talk into something positive when you have that all-important daily conversation with yourself. Maybe that bad childhood makes you a more caring and perceptive person today. Maybe losing a job forced you to consider what it is you really want to do. Remember the movie Rudy, when Rudy’s dad, played by Ned Beatty, told Rudy that people in their family don’t go to college? Now that was a limiting belief! But it turned out not to be true because Rudy didn’t let it determine his path. He refused to let that kind of negative storyline create an invisible roadblock to his future.
So what’s on your mind? What does your daily conversation with yourself sound like? One of my favorite sayings is, “If you’re going to let someone live rent-free in your mind, make sure they are a good tenant.”
Several years ago, I read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Written in 1946, this book is about his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during WW II. While the book discusses the atrocities committed by the Nazis, it identifies a purpose in life to feel positively about—even in the darkest of places. In the book, Frankl describes how the guards took everything from him except one thing—and that was hope for a future where he could find meaning in life. Frankl realized that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living, and suffering is simply a part of life.
Henry Ford put it this way: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t—you’re right.”
Quiet the storylines that are limiting your potential. I challenge you to give yourself a daily motivational talking to in which you explore your possibilities. Instead of dwelling on negatives and bad experiences, celebrate what they taught you. Embrace how they can help you move forward and do what you do better.