To stop myself from daydreaming and to keep my focus on the church service, I like to sit in one of the front rows during mass. (This sitting in the front has become a battle of wills with my family, because they all like to sit in the back. Our sitting goals, really, could not be any farther apart.)
This wasn’t a problem when I went recently to mass by myself during the week. I was totally free to sit on the third row, so I did. Presently, an attractive couple and their young daughter came in and sat down on the pew in front of me.
Because they were right in front of me, I couldn’t help but notice this family. The girl, who looked to be about five years old, sat down first, then the mom sat beside her, and the dad took his seat next to the aisle. Once seated, the mother hugged the child; then she kissed her head; next, she rubbed the little girl’s back. This “love ritual” continued throughout the service. The mom must have done some type of “adoring affirmation” a hundred times, and the daughter seemed to love every minute of it.
Later during the service, the little girl moved over to sit next to her dad, and the affectionate gestures were repeated. It was a wonderful thing to witness. It was so moving, in fact, that even my up-close, third-row spot couldn’t stop my mind from wandering a bit, and I started thinking about affirmation and business.
As children, we were affirmed, nurtured and loved hundreds of times during the course of a week or even a single day. And then we grow up and enter a business environment where usually the only feedback we get is somewhat negative in nature. We will hear plenty about what we are not doing well and what we need to work on, but genuine pats on the back seem few and far between.
I bet we’ve all sat through more “fix-it” meetings than those in which we hear, “you are doing well.” And when is the last time you had a positive meeting about “how to replicate your success?”
I think that, professionally, we are all starved for encouragement and affirmations and upbeat feedback on the kind of job we are doing.
There’s a smart management adage that says: For every criticism / coaching comment we offer, we should give three encouraging comments, too. It makes perfect sense. We are more apt to accept constructive criticism from someone who cares enough to also comment on what we do well. We’re more likely to listen to someone who knows enough about us and what we do to recognize our talents and successes and value.
What’s my point?
It’s no wonder that we seek encouragement and work better when we get it. As children, we grew used to it. As adults, especially in business settings, we get so little of it and we miss it. Take time today to offer some words of encouragement to someone you work with. Chances are, it will make both of you smile.
So. Who wants a hug?