Fear is a powerful motivator. It can keep us from reaching all kinds of life and work goals. But fear operates another way, too. You can harness the power of fear to achieve what you want. In fact, I’ll say that every decision you make on your way to success is rooted in faith or fear or a little of both.
It’s important to remember that we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control (and we are defined by) how we respond.
All this was top of mind for me as I read Darrin Donnelly’s Victory Favors the Fearless: How to Defeat the 7 Fears That Hold You Back.
It’s a great book. In it, Donnelly uses a story about a struggling pro boxer named Mickey McGavin who is hampered by seven specific fears that are keeping him from being truly successful in the ring and in life. They are common fears, so you probably will recognize their impact on your own life:
- The fear of what other people think.
- The fear of change.
- The fear of making the wrong decision.
- The fear of missing out on something better.
- The fear of not being good enough.
- The fear of failure being permanent.
- The fear of being “due” for a setback.
In the book, where boxing is a metaphor for life, various famous people from the past come into McGavin’s life to help him overcome his fears. So, as you might imagine, there’s a lot of cumulative wisdom in these pages. Here are a few of the smart, insightful takeaways I had:
“… if you lose your passion, you’ll know then—and only then—that it’s time to move on. And when that day comes, you’ll be able to handle it. God will give you the grace to handle what comes then—and only then. When that day comes, you’ll have to trust that God has a new plan for you.”
“Nothing in life is permanent. And that includes failures. Not a single failure I’ve had has ever been permanent. … Every single failure I experienced always faded away and led to something better. Not some of the time—all of the time. Every problem had a solution. … Every setback, loss or failure is only temporary. Failure is never permanent. Unless you choose for it to be.”
“Everyone suffers heartbreaks in life. But in every situation, those who fight through the fear and the temporary pain will come back and tell you that what was devastating at the time eventually opened the door to something better.”
“When you miss an opportunity, you have to actively go out and create the next one. … When things don’t work out as you planned, don’t sit around wishing and waiting for something better to fall into your lap; go out there and create something better. Create your destiny.”
“You have to attack and adapt. Learn from your mistakes and come back stronger and wiser. Champions move on quickly from failure. Champions charge forward with faith and confidence.”
“… you have to teach yourself not to focus on the pain, but to instead focus on the desired result or the positive consequences of pain. Focus on moving forward despite the pain, and the pain lessens. Focus on fighting through the pain, and the pain dissipates. Focus on the strength that comes from pain, and the pain gives way to feelings of strength.”
“The fear of being due for a fall isn’t based on reality—it’s based on a belief. … Choose to believe you’re due for something bad, and you’ll experience something bad. Choose to believe that good things are coming your way, and you’ll find the good in even the roughest situations. It’s all up to what you choose to believe and focus on.”
“Whatever you go looking for, you will find. Fear wants you to go looking for the negatives. It’s up to you to go looking for the positives.”
“With God’s help, every tragedy can be turned into a triumph. … No fear or defeat or setback is greater than the power of God. That belief forces me to focus on the positives that can come out of any negative situation. It keeps my focus on hope and strength and courage.”
“Your inner beliefs determine your focus and what you focus on determines what you experience. Don’t hold onto any beliefs that empower fear. Choose only beliefs that empower you.”
“I am blessed, I am strong, I am protected by God. … With God by my side, I can accomplish anything.”
Do any of these quotes resonate with you? If so, I’d suggest printing them out and putting them where you can see them as a reminder of what’s possible. Use them as motivation to not let fear get the best of you. Remember, your focus is your aim. Focus on the positive, on what’s possible, on your strengths because whatever you aim for, you’re more likely to hit.