As a business coach, I get to observe; work with; and help people achieve their individual, department and leadership team goals. Those people in our coaching program know that means not only establishing worthwhile goals, but also working toward accomplishing a 7F’s of True Success work-life balance.
True success happens in and out of the office. It requires attention to work fundamentals, of course, but also finances, family, faith, fitness and some fun. The fusion of all this is where the magic happens.
If you are where you want to be in all those areas, then pat yourself on the back. You can stop reading now. But if there are areas you need to work on—areas where you might need improvement and renewed focus—read on.
Often, I’ve noticed that people fail to reach their goals because of an internal struggle between being comfortable and getting uncomfortable. Between the easy way and the way that requires discipline. Think of this as two sides of you.
A Dual Nature
It is part of our nature. It always has been. During prehistoric times, the “comfortable you” kept people protected and safe from the very real dangers of life like predators. It kept people alive and allowed them to thrive. So the goal was to stay comfortable and avoid hardship and pain. At all costs.
But then how did people advance? Think of fire, for instance. It can be a pretty scary thing. But consider for a moment, those first brave people who faced their fears and realized that fire can be a very useful tool. They got uncomfortable, and the reward was priceless.
Let’s fast forward to today. We no longer have to worry about those basic life-and-death needs, and yet our preference is to stay comfortable. The “comfortable you” knows failure is tough, so it seeks to keep you protected. Why try to accomplish hard things? Why keep going when you fail? The status quo is OK, right?
But there’s another side to all of us—the side that can and will get uncomfortable. The side that yearns to achieve bigger things, that will have the difficult conversations, hold others accountable, learn new skills, start companies, etc. If you are in sales, this is the side that will hear “no” 90 percent of the time and still keep at it.
So, if you’re not achieving a specific goal—in the office or out of it—that’s probably because you’re avoiding the things you don’t want to do. You are avoiding being uncomfortable. We put things off. We decide to not do them altogether. We play it safe. Career mentor Bud Bilanich put it this way: “Procrastination is the physical manifestation of fear and is a confidence killer. Act; especially when you’re afraid. Fear is hurting your career if you’re not dealing with it.”
One of my favorite questions to ask those in my coaching program is this: What are you willing to give up to get what you want? One of those things you have to give up is comfort!
In a previous blog about Price Hightower, he talked about his ability to do the things he didn’t want to do, his willingness to be in an uncomfortable state each and every day. Bottom line: He is willing to pay the price to achieve success. For example, he really dislikes exercising, and yet he’s had a lifelong commitment to daily exercise.
My guess is Price, president of Tower Homes, has become so comfortable with being uncomfortable that it’s his regular state of mind these days. And it clearly has worked well for this successful man who left the security (and comfort) of his bank job to enter the housing market and build one of the most successful companies in Birmingham.
Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable means you can encounter failure and recognize it as something temporary, as something to get over, shrug off, go around and put behind you. It means you have the confidence and the tools to aim for higher, better, more rewarding goals. It means pushing yourself so far and so often that you feel bothered (and maybe even unsettled) when you aren’t uncomfortable.
Are you willing to do the things you don’t want to do so you can achieve the things you want to achieve? Answer that question with a “yes” (do this daily!), and you’ll do what you do better.