I recently attended the 58th annual Greater Birmingham Mayors’ Prayer Breakfast. It’s held on the first Thursday in May each year, which also happens to be the National Day of Prayer.
At the local event, mayors from around the Birmingham area come together to promote regional unity among the area’s municipal leaders and their various cities. They’ve been doing this for decades, but this idea seems more important now than ever.
At this most recent Prayer Breakfast, Birmingham Mayor Randall Woodfin spoke and shared “The Story of Two Wolves” in his remarks. It’s an ancient Native American parable with myriad modern implications. It goes like this:
While talking to his grandson about life, an old Cherokee man told the boy, “A fight is going on inside me. It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves.
“One is evil,” the grandfather said. “He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.” He continued, “The other wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith
“The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person, too.”
The boy thought about this for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied: “The one you feed.”
It’s a simple parable, but there’s a lot to unpack here if we think of it in terms of the world we live in today.
We, as individuals, as a country, as a world, even, are so incredibly divided. Within our social and political groups, we each think we are the good wolves. The others, well, they must be the bad ones. It happens all the time—in ways large and small.
I recently heard a Vistage speaker talk about how divided we are as a country. He used the example of masks and how half of our population is quite ok with wearing them and, in fact, believe it’s the right thing to do right now. The other half wants those masks gone. Period. End of story. Imagine, the Vistage speaker said, how difficult it is for a leader to lead when everyone is so polarized.
And then think, as the old Cherokee man did, about the conflict within ourselves.
Here’s where the idea of self-talk comes in. I’m talking about the inner conversations each of us has with ourselves in which we affirm ourselves and head in the right direction of a life of joy and peace and hope and success or we disparage ourselves and head down a negative path of anger, sadness, self-pity and regret.
How’s your head space? Is it free of negative thoughts and clutter? Are you clearheaded and able to easily envision your own happiness? Remember, garbage in, garbage out.
Today, in work, life, faith, etc. I encourage you to take time to listen to the other side. You might not end up agreeing, but chances are, you’ll learn something and at least open your eyes to another way of seeing things.
Then, on a more personal level, talk kindly to yourself. Consider the good inside you and don’t beat yourself up for shortcomings and regrets. We all have them, but they do not have to define us.
Feed that good wolf.