Spending time in quiet reflection is a dying art. Our culture often is too busy for that. Tasseography, too, is a dying art. “Tasso what?” you might ask (and with good reason). Tasseography is the reading and interpretation of patterns in tealeaves or coffee grinds or wine sediments. There’s pretty much no place in our culture for that.
So what do these two things—quiet time to yourself and fortunetelling—have in common? Both might help you see what’s coming.
We all know that bad stuff happens to good people. Sometimes adversity seems to come out of nowhere. That’s not always really the case. We’ve all, at some time or another, experienced setbacks large and small. Perhaps, if you’re an executive, one of your best employees suddenly leaves for a job at another company. Too many salespeople have experienced that sinking feeling when a valued customer takes their business elsewhere. A similar reaction comes from a falling out with a longtime friend. There’s perhaps no way to describe the terrible feeling a parent gets upon learning of a child’s addiction. The list goes on and on; the possibilities are endless, really. Aside from being awful, these examples I’ve given today seem quite diverse. But there’s something very important that they all have in common.
They quite possibly could be predicted—if someone took the time to stop and think and realize what was happening.
There are always signs.
You don’t have to be a fortuneteller to notice when someone is unhappy. Slightly odd conversations can say so much. So do facial expressions, behavioral changes, and changes in email or texting habits. And the challenging thing is that most often, hints of trouble are very subtle. You absolutely have to be present in the moment to catch them.
So why is it that we don’t read these signs in real time—especially considering that they are about something that is very important to us? It’s because of life’s “swarm.” We are too busy; too overworked; too distracted; and, in some cases, just too tired to pick up on the clues.
According to Dan Kennedy, the author of No BS: Time Management for Entrepreneurs, the average business owner is interrupted once every eight minutes. Once every eight minutes! That alone causes even the best and brightest of executives to lose focus of what’s going on around them.
So what can you do? First of all, you have to create some margin somewhere in your day. Continuous, non-stop execution is a good way to get hit upside the head with a great, big, bad “gotcha.” You have to make time to reflect and realize what’s going on. You have to have some time for contemplation. This focused thinking and deliberate consideration comes only when you stop and step away from the swarm. This doesn’t happen at the office (again, just reference Dan Kennedy’s statistic for why). Instead, it happens in the car when you are driving alone. It comes to you during a long run or on vacation or at the baseball park or when you’re relaxing in the backyard.
Bottom line: You often can predict what’s coming next; but you have to make time to make that happen.
Corsini’s Point:
You can’t always avoid life’s unpleasant surprises, but sometimes you can. You have to be present in the moment to hear, see and feel what not only is being said out loud but also what’s being communicated via body language and behavioral changes, and through emails and texts. Create margin in each day to reflect on what’s happening in your life—inside the office and outside it, too. Continuous execution—while accomplishing a great deal—will inevitably cause you to miss important details. Concentrated thinking, done deliberately and regularly, will limit the number of “zingers” life throws at you. And that means you’ll do what you do better.
QUOTE
“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who make it happen, those who let it happen and those who wonder what happened.”
—John M. Richardson, Jr.