Let’s complete our short course series for long-term success. I started this course with three simple keys to succeeding:
- Be authentic.
- Form meaningful relationships.
- Do what you say you are going to do.
Be authentic by telling the truth all the time—period. Next, form meaningful relationships that are beneficial to everyone involved. And finally, always, always do what you say you are going to do.
Then last time, I encouraged you to get uncomfortable. That’s the only way to push yourself beyond what you think you can do. The higher your goals are set, the more uncomfortable you need to be—and more often.
Today, let’s discuss failure—or more to the point, failure management. I am asking you to fail more often. Know what it’s like to come in second, and be prepared to get your butt kicked. This challenge probably sounds counter intuitive. Nonetheless, you should give it a shot. Here’s why:
Most of us have a healthy fear of losing. We naturally want to avoid pain (losing) while seeking pleasure (winning.) But that means playing it safe. You won’t achieve your full potential and your utmost success that way.
I used to play a lot of tennis. But if I wanted to always win, I had to play against people who were not better than I was at the game. When I played them, I usually could count on a win. But the problem was: I didn’t get better. It was only when I competed against players who were better than I that my game improved. By failing to win, I learned how to hit the ball harder and serve more consistently. I realized much better placement of my shots even as I lost. By losing, I was steadily improving. And the better I played, the more I started to win. Of course, once I got comfortable with that level of play, I had to find better and more competitive players in order to keep improving my own game. That meant additional tournaments, tougher opponents and more losses for me. But ultimately, it was worth it because I continued to improve and reach my goals.
And so it is in business. Think about it. If you are comfortable and successful when calling on a certain size customer, you might just need to learn how to lose when pursuing larger opportunities. You might even lose quite a bit, depending upon your fortitude. Too often, I’ve seen people make the great decision to call on larger opportunities, but after they miss out a few times they get discouraged and revert back to their comfort level. This is a failure management issue. They don’t have correct expectations of themselves or their potential or their situation or the possibilities.
You can manage failure. What’s more, you need to know how if you’re going to succeed. Think of disappointments and losses this way:
- Failure is just an event.
- In failure, you find lessons.
- Failure is simply part of the improvement process.
- Fortitude and self-confidence lead to more opportunities, and more attempts ultimately lead to success.
- You are only a “failure” if you quit trying.
- Quitters don’t succeed. Winners get the prizes in life.
Corsini’s Point:
Wanna get better? Try failing more often. Look at losing as simply part of the process to winning. Manage your failures. Don’t let losses get you down. Learn from your disappointments, and use that knowledge to get better. Failure is a natural byproduct of getting uncomfortable. But both situations ultimately help you do what you do better.
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. … I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
— Michael Jordan