“I hate my job. This is no longer the company I once loved. They seem hell bent on running it into the ground.”
We have all either seen someone in this situation at some point in our work lives, or we’ve been this person. Think about an unhappy teacher you might have had or an exhausted pastor you might know. Perhaps this was you at your first job, or maybe it’s you at your current job.
Here is the typical scenario: The employee or manager has become disgruntled with their job, dissatisfied with company leadership, and disillusioned with the direction the company is headed. It seems like every conversation with this unhappy person revolves around what the company is not doing or what they are doing wrong.
It’s exhausting to listen to and disheartening to watch.
I have coached many people in this situation. My advice is simple yet difficult: You either must get right with the company or leave. There’s no in between. Either you agree to disagree but get in line with the company, or it is time to move on where you can grow and blossom somewhere else. (It usually takes multiple conversations and lots of patience to help someone see that this tough choice is the way toward the best outcome for them.)
Often, it’s easier to leave, but just because it’s easier doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Many employees have history with the company, valuable experience, and significant past successes (not to mention benefits, perks or other company-related monetary incentives) that would make leaving problematic without first trying everything to rectify a bad situation.
But in some cases, maybe it is just time to go.
However, if this is the path you choose, you really must get in the right mindset in order to truly move forward.
What I’ve found is if you are not at peace with your current situation or employer, when you go interview for your next position, you’re likely to take a lot of toxic negativity right along with you. It’s pretty clear that if you badmouth your current employer when you are unhappy, you will badmouth your potential employer if you become unhappy.
And who wants to hire someone under those circumstances?
That is not to say you have to pretend that everything was rosy. But when you are unresolved with your current situation, there is little, or no, way to sound objective in your interviewing process. That is why you must work through your feelings of frustration; anger; disappointment; and, in some cases, betrayal before you move on.
I know someone who was in a truly toxic situation in her job as a supervisor at a manufacturing plant. It had gotten so bad, her health (physical and mental) was in jeopardy. She had to move on—in spite of a successful 20-year history there. And while she really had no choice, she had the good sense to first talk to someone about her anger and disillusionment and her own self-worth and sort through all the garbage before she moved on. She’s now happy and successful and appreciated in a much better place (literally and figuratively).
I had the opportunity to work with a business leader who was not only unhappy in his position, but also communicating that unhappiness loudly and clearly to the leadership team. He and I met multiple times for many months to talk through his goals and his frustrations. In our conversations, it soon became clear that his desire to be part of the company’s top leadership team was more important than the issues he was experiencing.
Long story short: The leadership team soon noticed a dramatic difference in his attitude, behavior and performance. I am delighted to say that he’s now a valued member of senior leadership, and the future only looks bright!
We all get unhappy at some point in our careers. I have been there personally and had to make some tough decisions of my own. (And they were the best job-related decisions I ever made!)
When you’re unhappy, it’s not just what you do about it, but also how you do it that makes all the difference in the world. If you work through a low point thoughtfully and carefully, you will do so successfully. And that’s how you do what you do better.