A while back, I was in a meeting at our office with the president and the CEO of an Alabama-based company. During our discussion, the two leaders found themselves locked in a heated debate over a critical decision. Their viewpoints could not have been further apart, and the stakes were high—it was the kind of decision that could reshape the company’s future, like whether to open a West Coast office or sell off an entire division.
As the conversation grew more intense, it became clear that no resolution was coming that day. In fact, if we continued, the disagreement was likely to escalate into something much bigger and more damaging. So, I made the call to stop the meeting. We did not reach a resolution or even a neat stopping point. We simply stopped, recognizing that things were not going to get better at that moment, but they certainly had the potential to get much worse.
I suggested we regroup in a few days.
What’s Really Important?
After the meeting, the CEO called me to vent. He was clearly still worked up, and I let him talk, asking questions here and there to help him process. As he talked, I could sense his frustration building again.
At one point, I asked him a simple question: “How important is your relationship with the company president?”
Without hesitation, he responded, “It’s extremely important, especially since we’ve worked together for so many years.”
That was the reminder he needed. I told him, “You two are at a crossroads. From here, things will either get better, or the rift between you will get bigger. And bigger is not better. You can focus on what divides you and risk driving a wedge deeper, or you can work through this and make the relationship stronger.”
It was like a pressure valve had been released. His tone shifted, and he agreed that making the situation better was the priority.
I had seen these two leaders navigate disagreements before, and I knew their relationship was more important than any single conflict. This was just another opportunity for them to work through a challenge and come out stronger on the other side. I was confident they could do it.
Hidden Opportunities in Disagreements
We have all faced situations where things did not go as planned between people. Disagreements are a part of life—whether it is at church; in youth sports; while volunteering; during club or civic meetings; or, of course, in the workplace.
It is easy to complain to others when conflicts arise, but that usually just makes the problem bigger. Venting might feel good in the moment, but it rarely leads to solutions.
What if, instead, we viewed disagreements as opportunities to make things better?
It is hard to sit down with someone and work through divisive issues, but it is almost always worth the effort. I have had many conversations with people on the verge of leaving their jobs over a disagreement. I remind them that while leaving might seem easier than resolving the conflict, stepping up to find a solution is often the smarter—and more rewarding—move.
If you have been with a company for a while, you have a vested interest in its success. There is often a personal and professional cost benefit to working through disagreements rather than walking away from them.
So, the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation (because, let’s face it, another one is always around the corner), focus on making it better—not bigger.
Do that, and you will find yourself doing what you do better.