One of my clients recently told me a story that maybe you’ve heard a version of in your own life. I think it’s important enough to revisit.
He told me about a salesperson in the banking industry who used to call on his company. The salesperson would come to their department, walk right past the people who reported to the boss and never say a word to any of them. Then, once he was in the boss’s office, he’d turn on the charm.
With the boss, the salesperson was engaging, curious and attentive. Everyone in the department could hear him going on and on. The longer he was in there, the louder he got. He offered to take the boss to play golf, to have lunch in the bank’s executive dining room. Nothing was too good for him.
Then, when their meeting was over, he’d walk out and … crickets. He never acknowledged anyone in the department. Not ever. He wasn’t rude exactly; he was indifferent. It was like he just turned off a switch. The salesperson wasn’t genuinely friendly. He was situationally friendly, and so he was engaging only when it suited him. The salesperson obviously found no benefit in being nice to the rest of the department, so he wasn’t.
Not Being Nice has a Price
Fast-forward five years, and guess what happened? One of the people in the department has become the boss, and the salesperson is now coming to see him. This new boss is my client, and he was telling me how strange it is to be flattered and showered with attention by someone who absolutely ignored him for so many years.
Well, you can imagine how this goes. The new boss was professional and cordial; he gave the salesperson some time. But he wasn’t about to do business with him. As with most services, he had several other options—especially from two or three other suppliers who had spent time over the years talking with everyone in the department. These other salespeople knew the names of those people they walked past on their way to the boss’s office. They had established relationships with them and the boss.
There are a few points to this story: First, be authentic. Always be yourself, because people are watching. Second, remember that nobody likes a “suck up.” Third, as the playwright Wilson Mizner said: “Be kind to everyone on the way up; you’ll meet the same people on the way down.”